


The Darkest Halo

by painted_pain



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-31
Updated: 2012-03-31
Packaged: 2017-11-02 20:00:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/372821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/painted_pain/pseuds/painted_pain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Whisper in your ear, so divine [...] I'm sorry I couldn't wear your halo. [5x03]</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Darkest Halo

“Hey, baby, I missed you.”    
  
Lucifer wonders if maybe he did. His only glimpse had been of Sam encased in white light, falling to the floor in pain before they had been snatched away. It’s not enough time to miss someone but then Sam isn’t just any ‘someone’. He is Lucifer’s. His one true vessel. Sam is made for him. His alone.   
  
Sam looks at Jess with such love and desperation, like she’s perfection and Lucifer wants to rip the look from his face. She’s not perfect, she’s not real, he is. He is here, for Sam, showing him the right path but Sam won’t acknowledge him if he shows himself for who, for what, he is. Sam will shun Lucifer and Lucifer will unravel the man’s mind until he says yes.   
  
He moves Jess’ hand into Sam’s and wonders at the softness of their fingers, their palms. ‘Too soft,’ he thinks, ‘too fragile, too easy to destroy.’ And Lucifer knows they have to be destroyed, failed, flawed, disgusting creatures, blemishing his Father’s most beautiful creation.   
  
Yet Sam was made for him, born incomplete, waiting for Lucifer, always waiting, always missing a part of himself, the part that was Lucifer.   
  
“Even at Stanford, you knew. You knew there was something dark inside of you. Deep down, maybe, but you knew. Maybe that’s what got me killed.”   
  
_I have always been in you, Sam, even then. From the day you were born, I have been part of you,_  Lucifer thinks, watching Sam’s face fall and crumple. He will never escape. He will never be free, just like Lucifer. There is always a price to pay. Lucifer paid it tenfold and is still paying it. Jess was only part of Sam’s price. More will fall.   
  
“Same song, different verse,” Lucifer says, Jess’ voice making the words sweet and loving – concerned. Lucifer thinks that maybe he should feel these things, if he could remember how, because Sam was made for him. Only for him, just as Lucifer was made for Sam. They fit, filling places with Grace and power and anger – revenge.    
  
Lucifer knows they fit but Sam refuses to see it, see how perfect they are together. So he uses Jess to whisper in his ear. Her voice is something Sam will listen to and Lucifer hopes he will.    
  
Lucifer won’t pray because the words dry up in Nick’s mouth, because they will fall on deaf ears, but he can hope. So he hopes, because the alternative is a road that will torture Sam and Lucifer, keep them imperfect, separate, broken pieces, the edges cutting into hollow spaces. Sam can feel it, this empty darkness in him, the demon blood, the anger, but he doesn’t know it’s Lucifer he needs.   
  
Sam wants to be better, a better person, a better hunter, a better brother. He wants to save the world. Lucifer can’t be his superhero, he can’t save the day. He’s the Devil. He’s not evil, has never been evil, only righteous and wronged, but he can’t be a perfect angel – Sam’s perfect angel.   
  
~*~   
  
“But, you’re wrong, people can change, there is reason for hope.”    
  
Not everyone is like Sam, hollowed out, waiting to be filled. People can change, Lucifer supposes, even if they are beneath him, but not Sam because Sam is perfect. Sam is the way he is supposed to be and he has no need for hope, his answer is here, if only he would say that one word.   
  
“You know who I am.” Sam will always know, the darkness calling out to its kindred spirit.    
  
“I want to give you a gift. I want to give you everything.” If he could, Lucifer would give Sam everything to make him say yes, would offer him the world and maybe Lucifer could, when he wins – but Sam wants humanity to be whole, to be saved and that can’t be so. No human deserves to walk the earth. They are filth, vermin.    
  
Except Sam. Sam is different. Sam is not human, not completely. He has too much of Lucifer in him, that vast, black space that calls out for the Morningstar with wild abandon. This is what will make Sam say yes, even if he covers it with a noble reason.   
  
“You’re the one, Sam. My true vessel.” Lucifer can see the darkness swirling around, reaching out, but Sam will continue to deny it. Lucifer is Sam’s angel, perfect and imperfect, whole and incomplete.   
  
“I will never lie to you, I will never trick you, but you will say yes to me.”   
  
He’s sorry Sam won’t let him in, let him be his angel, he won’t say yes, but Lucifer knows it won’t be long. It is inevitable. He doesn’t play by the rules. He’s not an angel of Heaven anymore – he lost that halo a long time ago.


End file.
